EXPERTS - LIVE WEB FORUM

PossLTR EXPERT COMMENTATORS

David Evans (possLTR "Dating Maven") is a dating industry analyst and consultant. David writes the Online Dating Industry Insider column for the widely respected Corante.com. David's own business, www.profiledoctor.com, specializes in helping guide people through the writing process for online dating services. David has partnerships with over 50 professional dating organizations.

Terri Nelson, Ph.D., LICSW, MSW, MSEP, Reiki Master (possLTR Couples' Therapist) is a Holistic Psychotherapist and teacher. Her training includes traditional and alternative approaches to healing. Her work experience includes providing service within the Department of Mental Health and Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates, where she worked as a clinician in the Adult mental health department. Dr. Nelson is in private practice with her husband, Lester Nelson, Min., where they provide counseling for individuals, couples and families. You can find out more about Dr. Nelson's practice by writing to Right Relationship, 22 Spear Street, Quncy, MA 02171.

Lynn Margolies, Ph.D (possLTR Psychologist) is an experienced, licensed psychologist and former Harvard Medical School faculty and fellow. She was trained (internship and post-doctoral work) at a Harvard teaching hospital and has been in private practice since 1989. Working with individuals, couples and families, she offers consultation, short- and long-term counseling and psychotherapy. You can find out more about Dr. Margolies' practice at http://www.drlynnmargolies.com.

Aline Zoldbrod Ph.D. (possLTR Sex Therapist) is a Boston based licensed psychologist, and an individual and couples therapist. She is certified as a sex therapist and Diplomate in Sex Therapy by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Dr. Zoldbrod is the author of three well respected books, most notably the award winning book *Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It.* You can find out more about Dr. Zoldbrod's practice at http://www.SexSmart.com and her books at http://www.Zoldbrodbooks.com.

LIVE WEB FORUM AFTER BROADCAST
PossLTR viewers are invited to participate in a massive online public web forum at 7:30pm, immediately after the March 26th 7pm broadcast. Weigh in with your opinions about our daters. See outtakes and extended sequences from the show. See excerpts from future episodes. Should the daters see each other again? Why? Why not? What would you have done at the restaurant? In addition to a viewer forum, PossLTR professional dating and relationship experts will be standing by to answer questions about dating after divorce. PossLTR participating venues (restaurants, attractions, etc.) will have web links available for viewers who want to explore the Greater Boston Area,s exciting leisure and nightlife scene. MORE

LIVE WEB FORUM TRANSCRIPT (Edited)

2005.03.26 16:37:39 Leah: This is the first time I've seen this program and I love it! Thank you for investing in the development of this type of programming. We learn from each other. Thank you.

2005.03.26 16:30:45 Original message from august: what are the signs that you are in a rebound realtionship ?

2005.03.26 16:33:45 Original message from cutestmomof2: Wish my boyfriend had seen it...to see that dating after divorce is possible! We've been together for almost 3 years, and now...he's taking a break because he's afraid i'm going to do what his ex did to him! I'm so devastated!

2005.03.26 16:44:51 chrystall I think it was a great show! People need this information
about dating from your experts!! I hope to see the show again!

2005.03.26 16:41:08 Esel: I have dated off and on since my divorce...Can you feature less perfect personalities next time? We're not all slim but definitely attractive....... :)

2005.03.26 16:49:16 Jofus (1) I hope that you will be able to produce "Poss LTR" as a regular weekly series this Fall, and that it can also appear on TV stations in other areas of New England (such as Providence, Hartford, Portland, Bangor, etc.)....MORE
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2005.03.26 16:30:45 Original message from august: what are the signs that you are in a rebound realtionship ?

2005.03.26 16:30:45 Reply from Lynn Margolies, Ph.D.: the signs are rushing in, idealizing the other person, making fast assumptions based on little or no info. you are in for a crash

2005.03.26 16:33:39 Original message from Minnie: How should you treat your S.O.'s kids?

2005.03.26 16:33:39 Reply from Terri Nelson, Ph.D.: Like someone you are just begining to form a relationship with. Be a good listener. Tell them somethings about you. Ask them to tell you who they arel Their likes, dislikes. Like any new relationship, just wade in gradually but steadily.

2005.03.26 16:33:44 Original message from Flying Dutchman: Will we see them going out again on future shows?

2005.03.26 16:33:44 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Maybe? What do you think? Should they?

2005.03.26 16:33:45 Original message from cutestmomof2: Wish my boyfriend had seen it...to see that dating after divorce is possible! We've been together for almost 3 years, and now...he's taking a break because he's afraid i'm going to do what his ex did to him! I'm so devastated!

2005.03.26 16:33:45 Reply from David Evans-Dating Expert: Talk with him, let him know that you are there to work things out while he deals with his fears.


2005.03.26 16:34:57 Original message from Beth: Dating is so difficult...the show really portrayed how it is...

2005.03.26 16:34:57 Reply from David Evans-Dating Expert: Dating IS difficult, especially when more than just the two of you.

2005.03.26 16:35:08 Original message from barbara: Will future shows address dates (several) that seem to go well and then the person just disappears? Never understand this!

2005.03.26 16:35:08 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Barbara- great question! Definitely yes>..

2005.03.26 16:35:24 Original message from gayle: Question, didn't they talk alot aobut past relationships for a first date?

2005.03.26 16:35:24 Reply from Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D.: You know, there is a lot of advice out there about what to talk about and what not to talk about on first dates. People are told not to talk about anything controversial, no religion, no politics, etc. If you can't talk about religion or politics or your past relationships, it might make for a pretty "vanilla" date. My patients who are dating assume they will be talking about past relationships, at least a little. What they shared was actually helpful in terms of understanding how each of them balances relationships and parenthood.

2005.03.26 16:35:24 Original message from holmberg: i think the pace was a little quick. But, you only had less than a half hour plus commentary

2005.03.26 16:35:24 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Holmberg, I would love for the show to be a full hour....

2005.03.26 16:36:34 Original message from cml: How do you choose the people who go on the shows

2005.03.26 16:36:34 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Go on possltr.com, look at the Auditions page...I'd love to see you audition...

2005.03.26 16:37:35 Original message from cml: I am not convinced that she was in to him.

2005.03.26 16:37:35 Reply from Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D.: We heard her say that she would be ok if they didn't go out again--- so you are right, she wasn't swept away. But she did like some things about him. So perhaps on a second date, she might grow to like him more.

2005.03.26 16:37:39 Original message from Leah: This is the first time I've seen this program and I love it! Thank you for investing in the development of this type of programming. We learn from each other. Thank you.

2005.03.26 16:38:43 Original message from Curly: Was the age gap an issue for anyone? It seemed to be 10 years or so...

2005.03.26 16:38:43 Reply from Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D.: Let's see what other people think about this. Men being older by ten years is not all that unusual. What do you think might be the problem with it

2005.03.26 16:40:47 Original message from easter bunny: definitely need more time. I think following a second date would be real interesting.

2005.03.26 16:40:47 Reply from Terri Nelson, Ph.D.: Yes. Hopefully a second date would give more opportunity for Lauren to share more of what is going on internally for her. She was more externally focused on first date, talking alot about sports, leisure activity, travel, etc. Jeff did talk more about what was going on internally for him. He tells us he is lonely, and talked at length about recently having been in love.

2005.03.26 16:41:08 Original message from Leah: I have dated off and on since my divorce. But I'm overcoming a serious accident right now and focus on my rehabilitation. Can you feature less perfect personalities next time? We're not all slim but definitely attractive....... :)

2005.03.26 16:41:08 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Leah - I am really interested in your situation. Please apply at our Auditions page.

2005.03.26 16:43:37 Original message from gayle: Most of my friends prefer to date guys that are younger than they are

2005.03.26 16:43:37 Reply from David Evans-Dating Expert: How old are you talking about? 50 dating 40? Older women in that situation tend to feel that younger men may be more sensitive and easier to manage, there are issues of control as well.

2005.03.26 16:44:15 Josh Great show!

2005.03.26 16:44:51 chrystall I think it was a great show! People need this information
about dating from your experts!! I hope to see the show again!

2005.03.26 16:45:50 Reply from Terri Nelson, Ph.D.: The first date involves alot of 'feeling' each other out. Lauren does tell us that she feels Jeff's pace in moving them closer together was a bit uncomfortable for her. Couples do need time to understand what feels too fast or too slow for the other.

2005.03.26 16:46:01 august If things don't move forward with Jeff and lauren..I would be interested in meeting Jeff

2005.03.26 16:46:10 Original message from Curly: I didn't have an issue with the age gap, but it seemed he was more into her, than vice-versa. I think if you turned the tables on the age, he may not have been as interested perhaps?

2005.03.26 16:46:10 Reply from Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D.: I don't know. Most men won't date a woman ten years older. However, if that woman is very, very pretty, very smart, kind, has a good job, dresses beautifully, shares many interests with him.... Men are visual. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman. Men are still attracted, even if she is ten years older. You see it all of the time in Hollywood. These two have a lot in common, really. This is a fun question, really.

2005.03.26 16:48:39 Original message from ArlMark44NvrMarNoKds: Anyone else having trouble feeling a spark with dates in 30's-40's age group?

2005.03.26 16:48:39 Reply from Terri Nelson, Ph.D.: I don't think the 'spark' is related to any one particular age group. Can you say more about what you are asking/

2005.03.26 16:49:16 Jofus (1) I hope that you will be able to produce "Poss LTR" as a regular weekly series this Fall, and that it can also appear on TV stations in other areas of New England (such as Providence, Hartford, Portland, Bangor, etc.).

2005.03.26 16:52:19 Original message from Beth: keep the show coming...but more reality...age does matter, especially when it is physically obvious...she was much more youthful than jeff...he was like surprised that she played hockey..."equiptment ' he asked...."coed" she said...i loved it.

2005.03.26 16:52:19 Reply from David Evans-Dating Expert: Wasn't that a great moment? Breaking stereotypes like that, good for her, and a learning experience for him.

2005.03.26 16:53:06 Original message from softears: I wonder if other shows will have couples with more children. To start with having just one child seems easy.

2005.03.26 16:53:06 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: We have a number of surprises in the pipeline....

2005.03.26 16:55:38 Original message from ArlMark44NvrMarNoKds: In 20's hooking-up was easy with mutual attraction and a few drinks. Feeling mutual attraction is harder now it seems from dating sites and speed dating events.

2005.03.26 16:55:38 Reply from Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D.: I agree. People are wiser, more picky, operating more in their brains than in their pelvises. Remember, when one is in ones' 20's, the idea that you might get AIDS, herpes, etc. is theoretical-- They believe they will live forever. When you have kids and are older, you don't take as many chances. So where you might have hopped in bed after a few drinks with someone cute in your twenties, if you are grounded and in your thirties, forties and beyond, you don't get bombed. You listen, look for clues. And so initial "attraction" can be overcome by information on who the person might actually be.

2005.03.26 16:57:06 Original message from august: how about a show with a person with kids dating a person without kids.

2005.03.26 16:57:06 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Stay tuned...I promise you'll see that if we go to series...

2005.03.26 16:58:00 gayle willl this show be on again next week?

2005.03.26 16:59:45 Original message from Jofus: Another idea: How about having shows once you become a weekly series where you match-up two people who have never been married, but are over 30-35 years of age and wonderful people who simply "hadn't found the right one yet"?

2005.03.26 16:59:45 Reply from Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer: Jofus - quoting my friend Charles, "there are a zillion shows that are like that already..." But, I'm all over sending a never-married and a divorced on a date...

2005.03.26 17:01:31 Original message from barbara: Is it possible we over-analyze our first dates...read more into comments than need be..and then give up before a second date? What's wrong with cutting someone a little slack and get to know mor about them and why they react the way they do?

2005.03.26 17:01:31 Reply from Terri Nelson, Ph.D.: In dating after divorce, especially in the 30's, 40's and older, folks want to make an assessment more quickly, Is this person right for me. Often people do not want to invest 2 years finding out it is not going to work.

2005.03.26 17:06:17 Original message from John: Do you thinks it's okay to have sex again if you are only seperated?

2005.03.26 17:06:17 Reply from Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D.: Whether this is acceptable is a value judgement. Technically, you're still married. Many people do do this. I do hope people pay attention to what Dr. Margolies talked about. If you start having sexual relationships and you have kids, PLEASE be discreet.


2005.03.26 17:10:21 dccapecod About being "picky" -- we SHOULD be picky, if we are divorced, do we really want to go through that again? Most of us are looking at one more relationship in this life -- no time for another wrong one!!

2005.03.26 17:10:42 Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer says DC, I HEAR THAT...

2005.03.26 17:22:41 Syd Good evening. Will tonight's show be repeated?

2005.03.26 17:23:12 Roberto Mighty-Exec Producer says Hello Syd. Right now there are no plans to repeat tonight's show. That's a thought for Channel 5...